Ask Margaret - My Spouse and I Disagree About Discipline

When we choose a spouse we look for someone we're attracted to, someone we love, and someone we can have fun with. Then we have kids and find ourselves co-running a household with competing viewpoints that we may not have discussed before. On FB Kelly asked: How should my husband and I navigate differences of opinion on parenting situations? There are a LOT of hills my husband is willing to die on. If I have a difference of opinion on importance, he then gets frustrated with me. The most important relationship in the family is between the parents, so it is crucial not to let disagreements about parenting lead to marital discord. One solution is to use Nick North's number system: when you or your spouse expresses a strong opinion about discipline, give it a number: "I want our kids' rooms kept clean at all times. On a scale of 1 to 10, that's a 9 for me." "I want there to be no cursing in our house, and that's about a 5 for me." When it comes to discipline, if one spouse is finding they have a ton of 8s, 9s and 10s on this scale, it might be an indication that they have unrealistic expectations. It's important for us to support our parenting partners, but equally important for either partner to recognize when their own expectations are a little too intense. This is the kind of marital issue couples can spend a lot of time fighting about if they've never actually had a proper discussion about it. It's worth acting from your place of maximum generosity, but by coming together to set understandings around rules and discipline, this issue doesn't have to lead to ongoing conflict. Listen to these episodes of our podcast which further explore these topics: Making It Worth In the Long Haul Parenting as a Team and check out the book Marriage-ology by Belinda Luscombe Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Om Podcasten

When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard. We're Amy and Margaret, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like. In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood. If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way. We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies. We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship. If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!   whatfreshhellpodcast.com