WHU 119: Perfectionism. The real difference between my new patients and my seasoned veterans.
When I was in university, my first-year facilitator handed me a book on perfectionism and told me I should read it. I didn’t understand. How on earth could a student who couldn’t spell, barely paid attention in class, and struggled to care about assignments she didn’t like be a perfectionist? Perfectionism might be showing up in your life differently than the “gets it all perfect all the time” definition we often think of. it's not about having a manicured lawn and perfectly curled hair (although you might do those things too if you’re a perfectionist). Perfectionism is also about how you feel about action - and whether or not you can take action - even if the outcome might be less than perfect. I didn’t speak up enough, write enough (because I was afraid of my own spelling), or take enough risks in my work because I was afraid of failing at the expectations placed on me. I wasn’t showing up as my full self because I knew she was far from perfect - and yet that inaction was also perfectionism getting in the way of me achieving my goals. This was a pinnacle moment for me. So what if my Ps and my Bs were confused on every assignment I handed in - what I was trying to say was intelligent and well thought out. NOT participating and NOT leaning in was letting my groups down and myself down. When I work with women long enough, their perfectionism fades. They adopt the “all or something” mentality to their health and actually get somewhere. They stop expecting the world of themselves and deeply learn how to take care of their imperfect selves. And you know what? They do better than the women who are trying to hold it all together and pretend everything is fine. The opportunity to get a ticket for Bulletproof Your 40s is almost gone. The doors close the day this episode airs (Thursday, January 27th). We’re changing the way women feel about their health and themselves. Recovering perfectionists invited.