How to Have Crucial Conversations with Dr Ed Pooley

Dr Edward Pooley joins us again to teach us how to communicate well. He discusses the three strands of communication and explains how to be aware of them. We also share frameworks to help you navigate difficult conversations.Highlights[05:58] Three Strands of CommunicationIt’s not only what you say, but also the emotion and identity. Try not to start talks when you’re irritated or frustrated. Think of how your conversation will make the other person feel about themselves.[09:49] About RantingA rant is a one-way method of communication. Your message may be correct, but the other person won’t receive it well.Instead of laying blame, ask them about their observations of the situation. [12:49] Giving Better Feedback When systems no longer work, it’s crucial to implement change.Instead of pointing out what’s wrong, suggest solutions for improvement.[16:17] Risks of DepersonalisationDepersonalising can get the message across, but leave emotion behind.You may not offend other people, but you may also not convince them.Pair depersonalisation with emotion to deliver authentic communication to your team. [21:00] Expressing Your EmotionsUse “I” statements to express how you feel.Your thoughts aren't emotions. Tap into your feelings and express them.[21:56] The CORBS ModelMake your feedback clear, owned, regular, balanced, and specific.[24:35] Difficult ConversationsThe term ‘feedback’ tends to put people on high alert. Reframe it to a ‘conversation.’We tend to adjust to soften the blow to avoid upsetting other people. Practise ‘and’ statements to avoid wobbling during difficult conversations.[28:10] Learning ConversationsYou may have a skewed perspective. Seek to understand the bigger picture.[32:54] Communication in HealthcareWe often assume we are good communicators unless told otherwise.If you assume you’re a good communicator, you won’t seek improvement.[34:07] Having Difficult ConversationsYou can become a good communicator and handle difficult conversations with ease.Frameworks help you navigate these conversations.[41:25] Tips on Dealing with Conflict and Being a Good CommunicatorFind a way to communicate issues to prevent them from becoming bigger. Be aware of the bigger picture.Enjoyed This Podcast?Write a review and share this with your friends.Sign up for a FREE workbook.Join the Shapes Collective Facebook group.Find out more about our training here.Email Rachel or reach her on LinkedIn or Twitter.Podcast LinksPermission to ThriveTen Minute Medicine

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The podcast for GPs, hospital doctors and other professionals in high-stakes, high-stress jobs who want to thrive rather than just survive. You studied for years, you’re really good at what you do but you’ve noticed that you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, overworked and under-resourced. You may be comparing yourself to a frog in boiling water - the heat has built up so slowly that you haven’t noticed the extra-long days becoming the norm. You may feel on the edge and trapped in the very job that you’ve spent years working towards. Here’s the problem, frogs only have two choices; stay and be boiled alive, or jump out of the pan. The good news is that you are not a frog. You have many more choices than you think you do. You don’t have to quit, and nor should stress and burnout be inevitable. It is possible to be master of your own destiny, to craft your work life and career so that you can thrive even in the most difficult of situations. There are simple changes you can make which will make a huge difference to your stress levels and help you enjoy life again. Your host is Dr Rachel Morris, GP turned Executive Coach and Specialist in Resilience at Work who knows what it’s like to feel like an exhausted frog. In the podcast, she’ll be talking to friends, colleagues and experts all who have an interesting take on resilience for clever people in high-stakes, high-stress jobs so that together you can take back control to beat stress and burnout, survive and thrive.