083: White privilege in parenting: What it is & what to do about it

This episode launches a series of conversations on the intersection of race and parenting. I spent a month wading around in the psychological literature on this topic and deciding how best to approach it, and eventually decided to split it into four topics. Today we’ll dig into white privilege in parenting through a conversation with https://www.margarethagerman.com/ (Dr. Margaret Hagerman) on her book https://amzn.to/2MyZXJC (White kids: Growing up with privilege in a racially divided America) [affiliate link]. For those of us who are white, white privilege can be an incredibly uncomfortable to discuss. After all, we didn’t ask for this privilege – we were just born into a system where we have it. But the reality is that we do have it, and many of the actions we take on a daily basis mean that we don’t just benefit from it but we actively take steps to perpetuate that advantage. So in this episode we’ll learn how we can recognize that privilege in our lives and we’ll start to learn about some steps we can take to address it. In upcoming episodes we’ll look at white privilege in schools, parents’ responsibility to work on dismantling systems of racial privilege, how to talk with children about race, and what children learn about race in school (and what you can do to supplement this). I’m really excited to begin this conversation, but at the same time I want to acknowledge that while these episodes are based on a close reading of the literature, this is a massive subject and I’m not the expert here – I’m learning along with you. If you think I’ve missed the mark, do let me know either in the comments or via the Contact page. And if you’d like to participate in a series of conversations on this topic with other interested parents, do join us in the free https://www.facebook.com/groups/2174808219425589/ (Your Parenting Mojo Facebook group) – just search for #whiteprivilege to find the thread. You might also be interested to listen back to earlier related episodes: https://yourparentingmojo.com/006-wait-is-my-toddler-racist/ (Wait, is my toddler racist?) (Recorded back when I was still learning to distinguish between prejudice and racism!) https://yourparentingmojo.com/socialgroups/ (How children form social groups), which is critical to understanding how they develop prejudices in the first place. Looking for references? They’re now at the bottom of the transcript, in an attempt to keep the episode pages a bit cleaner… https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/facebook?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fyourparentingmojo.com%2Fwhiteprivilege%2Fandlinkname=083%3A%20White%20privilege%20in%20parenting%3A%20What%20it%20is%20%26%20what%20to%20do%20about%20it ()https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/twitter?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fyourparentingmojo.com%2Fwhiteprivilege%2Fandlinkname=083%3A%20White%20privilege%20in%20parenting%3A%20What%20it%20is%20%26%20what%20to%20do%20about%20it ()https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/pinterest?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fyourparentingmojo.com%2Fwhiteprivilege%2Fandlinkname=083%3A%20White%20privilege%20in%20parenting%3A%20What%20it%20is%20%26%20what%20to%20do%20about%20it ()https://www.addtoany.com/add_to/email?linkurl=https%3A%2F%2Fyourparentingmojo.com%2Fwhiteprivilege%2Fandlinkname=083%3A%20White%20privilege%20in%20parenting%3A%20What%20it%20is%20%26%20what%20to%20do%20about%20it ()

Om Podcasten

Parenting is hard…but does it have to be this hard? Wouldn’t it be better if your kids would stop pressing your buttons quite as often, and if there was a little more of you to go around (with maybe even some left over for yourself)? On the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, Jen Lumanlan M.S., M.Ed explores academic research on parenting and child development. But she doesn’t just tell you the results of the latest study - she interviews researchers at the top of their fields, and puts current information in the context of the decades of work that have come before it. An average episode reviews ~30 peer-reviewed sources, and analyzes how the research fits into our culture and values - she does all the work, so you don’t have to! Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World (Sasquatch/Penguin Random House). The podcast draws on the ideas from the book to give you practical, realistic strategies to get beyond today’s whack-a-mole of issues. Your Parenting Mojo also offers workshops and memberships to give you more support in implementing the ideas you hear on the show. The single idea that underlies all of the episodes is that our behavior is our best attempt to meet our needs. Your Parenting Mojo will help you to see through the confusing messages your child’s behavior is sending so you can parent with confidence: You’ll go from: “I don’t want to yell at you!” to “I’ve got a plan.” New episodes are released every other week - there's content for parents who have a baby on the way through kids of middle school age. Start listening now by exploring the rich library of episodes on meltdowns, sibling conflicts, parental burnout, screen time, eating vegetables, communication with your child - and your partner… and much much more!