206: How to find yourself as a parent

  It can be really hard to see what's happening in our struggles with our children. They refuse to go to bed at bedtime; we're at home alone all day with a baby who doesn't like being put down, and our older child who is now being aggressive, and there's no time for us to even take a shower, and maybe it seems like everyone around us is judging our parenting choices.   In this very different episode you're going to hear from parents who are in exactly these kinds of situations, and who joined me for a group coaching call to talk through them. We worked through a role play with one parent, Meagan, and then we saw how the same process could apply to lots of other different kinds of situations.   Several of the parents who joined the call were kind enough to record messages after the call letting me know how the experience was for them, and with their permission I've included these recordings in the episode as well.   So if you're struggling to find your groove as a parent; if you're struggling to find yourself, this episode will help.   Parenting Membership   If parenting feels really hard, and it seems like you’ve read all the books and you’ve asked for advice in free communities and you’re tired of having to weed through all the stuff that isn’t aligned with your values to get to the few good nuggets, then the Parenting Membership will help you out.   Join the waitlist and we'll let you know when enrollment reopens in May 2026. Click the banner to learn more.   Other episode mentioned: 181: Why 'giving choices' doesn't work--and what to do instead   Jump to highlights 01:26 Introducing today’s topic 02:11 Jen talks about hosting a group coaching call for Your Parenting Mojo Facebook group members, challenging misconceptions about coaching benefits. 03:26 Participants, like Parent Kendra, express feeling connected with others and finding solace in normalizing the challenges of parenting, even in a virtual setting.   07:38 Participants shared their parenting challenges, including ADHD, tantrums, social expectations, and bedtime struggles, seeking guidance and support during the coaching call. 14:28 The conversation explores Parent Meagan's bedtime struggles with her daughter Ava, highlighting Meagan's stress and Ava's desire for autonomy and connection. Strategies to address both needs are discussed. 36:30 The conversation explores Jen's struggle balancing caregiving, household tasks, and family time. It touches on her discomfort with her baby's crying, rooted in her own childhood experiences. 46:58 The conversation discusses supporting children with neurodivergent traits, emphasizing the challenges of maintaining routines and social interactions. 56:37 Parent Kendra shares her challenge navigating societal expectations in parenting across different cultures. 01:09:05 Whitney shares how she applied the concept of understanding her son's perspective and needs during bedtime struggles. This shift in perspective helped her empathize more with her son's feelings and frustrations. 01:15:12 Invitation to the Setting Loving (and Effective!) Limits workshop

Om Podcasten

Parenting is hard…but does it have to be this hard? Wouldn’t it be better if your kids would stop pressing your buttons quite as often, and if there was a little more of you to go around (with maybe even some left over for yourself)? On the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, Jen Lumanlan M.S., M.Ed explores academic research on parenting and child development. But she doesn’t just tell you the results of the latest study - she interviews researchers at the top of their fields, and puts current information in the context of the decades of work that have come before it. An average episode reviews ~30 peer-reviewed sources, and analyzes how the research fits into our culture and values - she does all the work, so you don’t have to! Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World (Sasquatch/Penguin Random House). The podcast draws on the ideas from the book to give you practical, realistic strategies to get beyond today’s whack-a-mole of issues. Your Parenting Mojo also offers workshops and memberships to give you more support in implementing the ideas you hear on the show. The single idea that underlies all of the episodes is that our behavior is our best attempt to meet our needs. Your Parenting Mojo will help you to see through the confusing messages your child’s behavior is sending so you can parent with confidence: You’ll go from: “I don’t want to yell at you!” to “I’ve got a plan.” New episodes are released every other week - there's content for parents who have a baby on the way through kids of middle school age. Start listening now by exploring the rich library of episodes on meltdowns, sibling conflicts, parental burnout, screen time, eating vegetables, communication with your child - and your partner… and much much more!