212: How to make the sustainable change you want to see in your family

Sustainable Family Change: Parenting Framework for Lasting Results Here's a little thought exercise: think back to what you were doing this time last year, right around Mother's Day (in the U.S...I know it has already passed in other places!).   What kinds of things were your children doing that were really endearing?   What kinds of things were they doing that drove you up the wall?   What kinds of fights (resistance, back-talk, stalling, tantrums, etc.) were you having with them a year ago?   Are you still having those same fights now (or variations on them)?   Do you wish you weren't still having those fights? That you could get out of the endless cycle of trying an idea you saw on Instagram, seeing a small change, and backsliding to where you were before?   Do you have all the tools you need so that a year from now you can look back and know, without any shadow of a doubt, that things are different now?   Today I'm going to introduce you to several parents who have made exactly this shift, and a framework you can use to make it for yourself.   It's not complicated. There are only five elements to it, and when they're all in place you can make sustainable change in parenting, as well as your own personal issues, work, and anything else you like.   It really is very possible to make sustainable family change in parenting happen by yourself. But all of the five elements have to be in place, and operating consistently, to make it work.   Losing focus on each one of the elements creates a different outcome, none of which are good: Confusion Anxiety Making slow progress Frustration Being on a treadmill   If you can see already that one or more of these things are happening for you, the Parenting Membership will help you make the kind of sustainable change you want to see in your family. The first thing you'll do after you join is have a 20-minute private call with my community manager, Denise, who will see which element you're struggling with the most right now, and connect you to specific resources to help.   Many of the parents who signed up this time last year are now in an entirely different place. Things like this are happening: Their preschoolers can use a picture-based list to accurately identify their own feelings and needs; Parents are recognizing how their own actions are creating shame in their children, and are working to address this; Parents see which parts of their co-parenting struggles are theirs to own, instead of blaming their difficulties on their co-parents; They can also see which parts are not theirs to own, make requests to get their needs met, and practice accepting their co-parent for who they are; Siblings are fighting less, because they understand each other's needs and can find strategies to meet both of their needs.   Of course these parents still have hard days...but none of them looks back on who they were a year ago and thinks: "Aside from the fact that my kids are older, I don't really know what's different now from what it was a year ago."   I want this kind of sustainable family change for you, too. It's so much more than taking a short course to learn a new skill. It's a fundamentally different way of being in the world.   Join the waitlist and we'll let you know when enrollment reopens in May 2026. Click the banner to learn more.       Other episodes mentioned

Om Podcasten

Parenting is hard…but does it have to be this hard? Wouldn’t it be better if your kids would stop pressing your buttons quite as often, and if there was a little more of you to go around (with maybe even some left over for yourself)? On the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, Jen Lumanlan M.S., M.Ed explores academic research on parenting and child development. But she doesn’t just tell you the results of the latest study - she interviews researchers at the top of their fields, and puts current information in the context of the decades of work that have come before it. An average episode reviews ~30 peer-reviewed sources, and analyzes how the research fits into our culture and values - she does all the work, so you don’t have to! Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World (Sasquatch/Penguin Random House). The podcast draws on the ideas from the book to give you practical, realistic strategies to get beyond today’s whack-a-mole of issues. Your Parenting Mojo also offers workshops and memberships to give you more support in implementing the ideas you hear on the show. The single idea that underlies all of the episodes is that our behavior is our best attempt to meet our needs. Your Parenting Mojo will help you to see through the confusing messages your child’s behavior is sending so you can parent with confidence: You’ll go from: “I don’t want to yell at you!” to “I’ve got a plan.” New episodes are released every other week - there's content for parents who have a baby on the way through kids of middle school age. Start listening now by exploring the rich library of episodes on meltdowns, sibling conflicts, parental burnout, screen time, eating vegetables, communication with your child - and your partner… and much much more!