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What Carys wants you to know about your children’s feelings

av Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive | Publicerades 4/11/2021

After dinner a few days ago, Carys randomly started telling us that if we want to understand some of the things she's feeling, we should cast our minds back to when we were children and remember how we would have felt about it at the time. The conversation continued as we explored more of her feelings when she's having difficult moments, and at some point someone (recollections differ on exactly who it was!) suggested we record a podcast episode about it. Carys was immediately on board and wanted to do it right away, but we came back to it the next afternoon. She thinks that parents often don't understand how their children are feeling and she'd like suggest ways to help your children when they're behaving in a way that may seem 'difficult' to you. Jump to highlights: (01:00) My special guest in her podcasting debut (02:18) What helps to understand your kid's feelings (03:18) Feeling the physical sensations of frustration (03:42) What Carys feels when she get 'that feeling' (04:19) Parents don't really understand that children sometimes want to be alone (06:07) Different kids deal with things in different ways (07:34) Our new method for when we disagree on things (10:37) We have rewards now (11:46) Carys's thoughts on problem solving Links: https://yourparentingmojo.com/settinglimits/ (Setting Limits Workshop) [accordion] [accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"] Jen [00:00] Hi, I'm Jen and I host the Your Parenting Mojo Podcast. We all want our children to lead fulfilling lives, but it can be so hard to keep up with the latest scientific research on child development and figure out whether and how to incorporate it into our own approach to parenting. Here at Your Parenting Mojo, I do the work for you by critically examining strategies and tools related to parenting and child development that are grounded in scientific research and principles of respectful parenting. If you'd like to be notified when new episodes are released and get a free guide called 13 reasons why your child isn't listening to you and what to do about each one, just head on over to YourParentingMojo.com/Subscribe. You can also continue the conversation about the show with other listeners in the free Your Parenting Mojo Facebook group. I do hope you'll join us. Jen [01:00] Hello and welcome to the, Your Parenting Mojo Podcast. I'm Jen. Who are you? This is Carys in her world podcasting debut. So if you're not watching this on YouTube, you might want to watch it on YouTube cause then you'll get to see both of us. And so we were having a conversation last night about feelings, right? Yeah. And so I, we were having, you were having ice cream and I was doing dishes. And all of a sudden you started talking about how you feel when you're having a hard time. And daddy said, You should be in a podcast. Carys [01:37] Actually, I think I said that. Jen [01:39] Oh, you did? Oh okay, and daddy agreed. And we were going to do it last night, but you had an appointment to talk to auntie Jas, didn't you? You couldn't do both. So here we are today to talk about feelings. So how old are you? Carys [01:52] Six and a half. Jen [01:53] Six and a half. Okay. You're almost six and three quarters. Aren't you? Carys [01:56] Yeah. I was going to say that but like.... Jen [02:00] Okay. How many loose teeth do you have? Oh, yeah. Got to be on YouTube to get that one. The two front teeth are wobbly and have been wobbly for a while aren't they? So do you remember what we were talking about last night? Why you started telling us about your feelings? I was trying to remember, and I couldn't remember. Carys [02:18] I think I just remembered that it just helps to understand your kids' feelings when you just look back and see a time when you were feeling like that. Jen [02:32] Oh, that's right. Yeah. That is what you said, isn't it? Yeah. And I was trying to understand more...

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Jen Lumanlan always thought infancy would be the hardest part of parenting. Now she has a toddler and finds a whole new set of tools are needed, there are hundreds of books to read, and academic research to uncover that would otherwise never see the light of day. Join her on her journey to get a Masters in Psychology focusing on Child Development, as she researches topics of interest to parents of toddlers and preschoolers from all angles, and suggests tools parents can use to help kids thrive - and make their own lives a bit easier in the process. Like Janet Lansbury's respectful approach to parenting? Appreciate the value of scientific research, but don't have time to read it all? Then you'll love Your Parenting Mojo. More information and references for each show are at www.YourParentingMojo.com. Subscribe there and get a free newsletter compiling relevant research on the weeks I don't publish a podcast episode!